Crazy

Tonight I got my last, last one year old hugs and kisses.

Tomorrow morning my baby girl will be two.

I shouldn't really be surprised by this. I mean, the girl is bigger than her four year old sister. Okay, maybe not taller, but she weighs more and its not that she's fat...she's just BIG.

You know--BIG. Like, "I came outta my momma's tummy nearly 10 lbs and I think I'll just stay a monster for the rest of my life" kind of big.

And in the process of growing up all four of these stinkers are challenging my sanity. Josiah was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago and I overheard him say, "Yeah? You know what I'm really, REALLY good at? ... DRIVIN' MY MOMMA CRAZY!"

And then he laughed maniacally. :) I was actually quite proud of him at that moment and bent over laughing myself. That's my boy--telling it like it is!

But just in case you think he was kidding about driving me crazy, here's a couple stories that really stand out from the last couple weeks...

Josiah and Micah were outside playing baseball and through the closed windows, doors and the "insulated" walls of the house, I could hear Micah wailing. I went outside to find out what was going on and to get Micah to stop crying before my neighbors started questioning my parental skills. Here's what Micah tells me:

M: (sob) Josiah's taking it too hard on me! (sob, sob)

me: Ok, I need you to take a deep breath and calm down so you can tell me what's going on.

Josiah: He's just mad because I got him out again.

M: Noooo! It's because you're taking it too hard on me!

me: Josiah, maybe you could take it a little easier on Micah so he can have some fun playing, too, because otherwise he won't play with you and then you won't have anyone to play ball with you.

M: (sob) He's just taking it too hard on me! (sob) He always gets me out before I even have a chance to get to the base!

J: Well, what am I supposed to do--WALK to the base?!??

me: Maybe, if it means you'll still have someone to play with.

J storms off completely irritated by the situation. M is still crying, but not as loudly.

me: Micah, I need you to calm down. Take some deep breaths. And you have to be ok with getting out. That happens in baseball--even to the guys who are really good at it.

M: I know.


M goes off to bat again and I go back inside...briefly, because not more than 30 seconds later there is more wailing that I can hear all the way inside the house. I go back outside.

me: What is going on now?

M: (sob, sob) He's still taking it too hard on me! I didn't even get to the base! (sob, sob)

J: (yelling) Well, I don't know what else I was supposed to do--I already walked to the base! The only way I could've gone slower was if I crawled!

M: It's because you're taking it too hard on me!! (Have you noticed a theme in his complaints? At least he sticks to his story...however partial it may be)

me: Josiah, I thought we talked about you letting him have a chance?

J: Well, I just don't know why I have to do that. He's already winning 5 to nothing!

SCREEEEEEEEEEEECH!!

Wait, WHAT??

me: What? Micah? Are you winning 5 to nothing?!?

M: (sniff, sniff) Well, yeah, but he got me out three times in a row just now!

me: (turning to walk back to the house) I don't even want to hear it.

J: Do I still have to take it easy on him?

me: Nope. Play ball.

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One morning Emilia mentioned that she had left her scarf and gloves (a mismatched pair) outside while she had been outside playing the day before. I sent her out to retrieve them and also reminded her that we don't leave things outside.

She briefly goes outside. I didn't hear her come back in but a few minutes later she walks up to me and says, "Well, I couldn't find the other glove outside so I just got this one out of my basket." (holding the match to the one she lost)

me: What? You can't just leave the other one outside. Where did you take them off?

E: I don't remember.

me: Well, where did you find these?

E: On the ground.

me: You need to go back outside and look until you find the other glove.

E: But I don't know where it is!

me: Just look around in the area where you found the first glove.

E: But it's not there!

me: Look again.

Emilia goes outside and about 10 minutes later I still see her wandering aimlessly around the backyard. I go out to help.

me: So, where did you find the first glove?

E: On the floor by the rock wall.

me: Inside the playhouse?

E: No, outside.

me: Where, exactly?

E: On the ground! (as if that's specific)

me: Ok, come point to the spot.

She walks over and vaguely gestures in the vicinity of the playhouse. Clearly, there is not a glove there. We both walk around the yard looking for the glove. We walk the back fence line, I check in the garden, she walks through the "forest", I check on the porch, in the playhouse, in the sandbox...no glove.

me: Did you take your gloves off at the same time?

E: I don't know.

me: Did you leave one on for some reason?

E: I don't know.

Emilia continues to meander around the yard, looking.

me: This is why you can't leave things outside. There's all kinds of wild animals around here and who knows what they've done with your glove.

E: But I have my glove!

me: I know, you found one, but that other one is lost now.

E: No, it's right here. (Waves the one she said she got out of the basket...she's the one who said that, mind you.)

me: Yes, you still have one glove like that.

E: No, I found this one out here.

me: What? You said you got it from the basket.

E: No, I got it out here.

me: You found TWO gloves out here?

E: (exasperatingly) YES!

me: (still a bit confused) When I first sent you out here to get your stuff you picked up one scarf and those two gloves?

E: Yes.

me: Then why did you say you got it out of the basket?

E: I don't know.

me: And what have you been looking for out here for the last 20 minutes?

E: I don't know.